Don’t look down
I thought I’d better pop in and make a real post. It’s my third week into work. I like corporate bathrooms. They’re always quite sanitary and there’s never a problem with finding a dry, clean toilet seat. But the ones at work kinda freak me out. The cubicles in particular.
You see, the floors are made of black granite. It’s polished stone, therefore it shines and is reflective. So one day when I sat down on a toilet to do my business, I looked around the cubicle as you do when you have no other way of occupying yourself while on the john. I looked down at the floor and saw a faint reflection. It took a couple seconds for my eyes to resolve the image, but I realised that I was seeing a reflection of someone in the adjacent cubicle, from a bottom-up perspective through the gap underneath the cubicle wall. I couldn’t see anything clearly, but I could generally see what he was doing. He was reading a newspaper (and taking a shit, of course). My eyes weren’t going to wait until he started wiping his ass, so I went straight back to entertaining myself by reading the building evacuation plan stuck on the cubicle door. Someone didn’t think things through when designing that bathroom…
9:03pm (GMT +11.00) 
3 weeks into work and all you tell us about is your time on the shitter?
On the contrary, I do think they knew what they had in mind when they were buffing the hell out of that floor for the supa shine.
oh dear